What I've learned since 2007: Part 5

5. No outside influence is going to make it happen.

I've tried EVERYTHING and NOTHING has worked. Sound familiar? All people who have experienced multiple unsuccessful attempts to take off and keep off weight say this. I can’t speak to what it means for all those other people, but I can tell you what it means to me.

If my brain isn’t in the right place, no team of experts, personal trainer, hypnotist, nutritionist, personal chef, food delivery service, homeopath, herbalist, infomercial, celebrity or plastic surgeon is going to make me stick with a healthy lifestyle.

For years I was working from the outside in. I was looking to everyone else to make it happen for me and I have documented all failed attempts from 2007 on in this blog. I was looking for the right combination of foods, the magic work out, the secret code that I was sure existed SOMEWHERE OUTSIDE OF MYSELF that would lead to permanent weight loss.

Once I realized that what I really needed to figure out was exactly how to love myself, the rest all fell into place. Then and ONLY then were the tools that existed outside of me (eating in a loving way, moving my body for the joy of it, reading inspiring books on the subject of living a healthy lifestyle) effective.

Once I got my own head screwed on straight, I started to see how so many people around me, almost everyone, had food issues of some sort, abused food in some way, and/or were looking for a solution outside of themselves. ANYTHING to avoid feeling whatever it is that they are abusing food in order to avoid feeling.

Here is one example of many. I tell this story without judgment as this story could be my story. Heck, it kind of IS my story:

I used to work with a gentleman who was obese. He had the lap band surgery and binged all the way up to the day his pre-surgery diet started. Clearly his head was not in the right place, but he was sure this tool would fix the problem.

After the surgery he lost some weight, but his main focus was not to adopt a healthy lifestyle. His main focus was to cheat the lap band. If he couldn’t EAT the calories, he would drink them.

He said that his quality of life decreased after the surgery. Of COURSE his quality of life seemed to decrease. He could no longer use food in the same way to escape his discomfort.

He also gained back any weight he lost (which wasn’t much) and over a year later is in the same place physically and, from what I observed, emotionally.

I don’t judge, but this is one clear example of many. Clear to me, anyway. He has no idea what the problem is. No idea why he can’t lose weight. Like so many of us, he hasn’t addressed the issues that cause him to abuse food.

One day, he sent out an email with the following subject line:

‘I’m totally stressed and need some junk food. Anyone want to order Chinese?’

Until he acknowledges that he abuses food, discovers WHY he abuses food, and decides that he will no longer abuse food, nothing will ever change.

At my dance and fitness studio, people have noticed my transformation and everyone wants to know what my secret is. When I tell them what the catalyst for my transformation was, I get blank stares. It CAN’T be as simple as loving yourself. For me, it was. For you, it’s as simple as *insert-reason-you-abuse-food-here*.