Stress

Auditions are coming up soon. I knew that and was totally fine with it until I received the email inviting me to callbacks. Now I'm in a big gay panic about auditions.

It's so weird. Suddenly I'm totally inadequate and unacceptable.

I was looking through performance pictures on Facebook of my friends who are frequently cast. It was upsetting. I miss it. I wish I didn't.

I'm not on the scene. I don't hang out with the theater crowd socially. Basically, I'm not networking so I'm not on the radar of the people who make the decisions. I rarely get cast and every year, I audition on the off chance that a job offer will actually come my way. I haven't done a show since 2007 and my track record sucks.

I have no control over it. I never know what they're looking for so I can't automatically assume that they're not looking for me. It would be easier to do that if occasionally they realized that they are, in fact, looking for me.