Hello, Miss Cleo?

When I was 16 I visited a psychic.

Now I'm the first person to tell you that most psychics are full of shit. I think they pick up on cues from their subjects and determine what information the subject would like to hear. This was not the case with Barbara, the woman I saw 14 years ago.

Here's how it went down:

I went to my then piano teacher's house. She was friends with Barbara and was hosting what I guess you could call a psychic party. We all had our appointments with Barbara scheduled and would hang out at the piano teacher's house whilst awaiting our turn.

When it was my turn, I walked into the room where Barbara was giving her readings. To my surprise, she was a normal looking lady. Probably in her 30's, blond (but not un-naturally so), slight build, really friendly.

We sat down at a table, Barbara pressed "record" on her tape recorder (the tape of the session was mine to take with me), took my hands in hers, and started talking to me. The entire first part of the reading was Barbara telling me about me. I said nothing, she did all the talking. Keep in mind, she knew nothing about me. I was at a piano studio that didn't offer voice lessons so she had no reason to know that I was a singer who loved performing in musicals (also note: I wasn't wearing anything that would give that away).

The second part of the reading was question and answer time. I had a bunch of stupid questions (I was only 16) about my immediate future. Over the next several months, all of her answers proved correct.

Here are some interesting, long term predictions she revealed in that session:

I would have 2 opportunities to marry very young. If I took these opportunities, I would have multiple marriages as I wasn't going to marry my forever-husband until my late 20's. (This was totally accurate)

I would have a successful corporate career. I wouldn't be the "head honcho", but I would be pretty high up on the food chain. (also totally accurate)

As I'm sitting here, "enjoying" my successful corporate career, I can't help but think of something else she said:

Even though I would have a successful corporate career, I would still be surrounded by theater. At some point, I would give up the corporate life to pursue theater exclusively.

This has been nagging at me a lot lately. It's a dream of mine to start a small theater company and produce musicals (some plays, too). The mission statement of my company would be to cast based on talent alone. Look would not be important. Not only is this an issue near and dear to my heart, but how often do you see a musical where someone "looks the part" but has no talent? Conversely, how often do you "forgive" a performer for not looking the part when they're super talented? In my experience, I've ALWAYS been forgiven my look (when given the opportunity) because of my talent.

Bottom Line: Audiences forgive me for being fat because I'm talented. Directors/producers never do and I want to change that (for myself and others like me) by becoming the producer.

There are a lot of talented people who aren't always working. I'd love to cast them in the shows I produce. Unfortunately, I can't imagine how this last "prediction" would ever come true.

Maybe I need to find Barbara for a follow up reading.

Eating makes my job less stressful.

Not really, but it sure helped yesterday.

After a really, really, REALLY, really, really, really bad day at the office, my husband and I indulged in some good, old fashioned comfort food at OCB.

If you've ever eaten here, you're well aware that it is not WW friendly at all. I guess it could be, but why eat tons of salad when there's fried chicken and soft serve to be had?

I also comforted my way through the work day today. While today was no where near as stressful as yesterday, I was totally shaken by yesterday's events. The breakfast pizza totally helped me ease my way back into work (with the assistance of a Carmel Frappuccino).

No wonder I can't lose weight.

WHAT!?

I followed the Weight Watchers plan all week and I gained one pound. How is that possible?

I guess it's natural. I could be retaining water or whatever, but still. This is super un-encouraging.

I'm not going to let this devastate me. If I've gained next week, then I'll be devastated.

Shopping for make-up: not stinker at all

My in laws gave me a very generous mall gift certificate for my 30th birthday. I would like to purchase some summer clothes that aren't dresses, but since I'm back on the Weight Watchers band wagon I should hold off on buying clothes for the time being.

Instead, I decided to spend the remainder of the gift certificate (already spent most of it on bedroom decor) at Sephora. If you're not familiar with Sephora, it's the most amazing cosmetics/fragrance/hair care store EVER! I feel in love with Sephora when I lived in VA and was devastated that we had nothing comparable here in Buffalo. I am devastated no longer as they now have a Sephora in the Walden Galleria!

I walked out of there with a teeny, tiny bag containing my bounty. It was amazing to me that $110 of make-up could fit in a bag so tiny. There was room in the bag for more make-up, but we do have a mortgage. Also amazing is how little I bought for that amount. Let's take a look:

- 3 Urban Decay eye shadows : Chopper, Smog, and Half Baked (which I'm sure my husband will refer to as brown, brown, and brown)
- Bare Vitamins "Prime Time" (this makes my foundation go on flawlessly)
- Clinique Almost Lipstick in Black Honey (this purchase actually doesn't count as I was just replacing the Black Honey that I lost around Christmas time)
- Too Faced Lash Injection Mascara

The first thing I did when I got home was run upstairs and put on a full face. It's funny because I'm just going to sit around the house for the rest of the day and play with the dogs (who will not be able to appreciate my flawless foundation, dramatic lashes, the beautiful yet subtle tint on my lips, or the color on my lids).

That's ok. I like it :)

My latest obsession

Ok. I'm losing sleep over a recent revelation and I must get it out of my brain. I've chosen my blog as my venue.

Our house is nearly 70 years old and I'm constantly thinking of ways to give the house the two things I'm desperate for: bigger/more bathrooms and a bigger kitchen.

The other day it hit me: If we remove the wall between the kitchen and the dining room, we could have one very large kitchen (with plenty of space in the middle for a huge dining table). In a house that's only 1400 square feet, there's no need for a formal dining room. There's no need for a formal anything. You need to utilize every square foot.

Taking out this wall would double the size of our kitchen. Literally. This extra space would allow me to take the fridge out of the hallway (you'd have to have been a house guest to understand) and use that vacant space to turn the downstairs powder room into a full bathroom.

Wait! What!? That's AMAZING!

Not only have I found the space to build a dream kitchen, I've found a way to add a 2nd FULL BATH to our home. I thought we'd need to add on to make these changes. You can't understand how excited I am to know that we can do it all in 1400 square feet!

On a related note, I'm totally crazy about these appliances. See how amazing and classic they look:

Seriously, they're unreal. They would make our kitchen totally beautiful and "period appropriate" without sacrificing quality or performance. I mean, seriously:

They're amazing.

Essure? Yes I am.

It's no secret that I don't want to have children. Fortunately, neither does my husband. I've always known this. My entire life I knew I'd eventually be married, but I never wanted to have kids. Ever.

Having recently turned 30, I think it's high time I take my fertility seriously. Sure, I'm cautious. My husband and I rely on 3 layers of protection. I'm sure we're 99.9999999997% protected against parenthood. It's that 0.0000000003% chance that terrifies me.

Recently our friends welcomed their first child. We payed them a visit days after its' arrival. As I walked in and saw my friend sitting there, swollen to high heaven with a baby on her lap, I thought, "if that was me, I'd kill myself".

This visit has inspired me to look into sterilization. Sounds high-drama, I know, but I'm that serious about my family planning.

I have an appointment next week with a doctor who performs the essure procedure. If you're unfamiliar with the procedure, it's pretty amazing. I'm not going to describe it because it makes me want to cross my legs and vomit, but I think I can handle 35 minutes of extreme discomfort.

I'm sure it's not as painful as motherhood.

Fascinating revelation of the day

If I eat a vegetable and a protein at each meal, I'm pretty darn satisfied.

Fascinating stuff.

Update

Since my last post my belief in God's love for me has continued to grow. It's pretty amazing how little I have to worry about things like what other's think of me when I'm certain of His love for me.

The benefits have been many:

- My inner critic is all but non-existent.
- I'm kinder to myself and others.
- My fear of failure is lessened.
- My desire to strong arm myself into a certain size are lessened.

Basically, I know God loves me and that makes me OK. Eating well is so much easier to do when I'm not doing it with the sole motivation of being a certain, "acceptable" size. I'm already acceptable :)

That said, Weight Watchers is going really well. I make myself eat all my points each week. Doing that keeps my tendency to be uber-restrictive at bay (and, in the long run, keeps me on track because I'm not starving).

Not doing so well on the smoking front.

I also continue to struggle with my desire for material things. It's not all-encompassing like it used to be, but it's still there. I'd love to buy a new wardrobe, decorate every room of the house, blah, blah, blah...

All things in time, I guess.