Oprah

Ok. I'm not proud of it, but Oprah totally changed my life. Last week's "best life" show about falling off the wagon totally motivated me to get back on it. 7 days later, I'm still riding the wagon better than anyone on the Oregon Trail (I'm too clever for my own good).

Some things about that show that really stuck with me:

- She has every resource in the world and she STILL can't get it together. How many times have you heard someone say "If I had that kind of money, I'd have a personal trainer/chef/team of people assisting me with my weight loss efforts". Well, if Oprah's money doesn't have any affect on her struggle, money is clearly not any kind of factor in whether or not someone is going to be healthy.

- "You're not hungry for food, so what are you hungry for?". More profound words were never spoken. I'm hungry for love. That's why I eat. With every binge I'm chasing the "high" that I can only get from loving myself.

I had the epiphany (and we know where those really come from) that the deck is stacked against me. I'm constantly fatigued, depressed, have difficulty falling asleep, difficulty staying asleep, difficulty waking/getting out of bed, difficulty getting motivated (even when the activity at hand is one I enjoy). I was relying on stimulants just to get through the day and they were no longer working. I want to get all these things taken care of in order to stack the cards in my favor.

I went to my chiropractor (he's also a nutritionist) and we're working together to correct the vitamin deficiencies and such that are currently making it so difficult for me to start and stick with a healthy lifestyle. Next week, I'm meeting with an expert in homeopathy and she's going to work some more magic.

My goal is to get healthy. Once that happens, weight loss will be a side-effect. I'll keep you posted.

I wouldn't feed that to a DOG.

Sound familiar? Yeah. You say it when something is super gross and not fit for human (or canine) consumption.

Tonight as I was feeding my 3 pugs I thought "I monitor every bite that goes into their mouths. They don't eat anything that isn't totally good for them because I want them to live forever".

Why do I do this for my dogs? Because I love them SO MUCH that I can't imagine letting them eat garbage (or do anything else that might endanger their health/shorten their lives).

Why are my dogs worthy of my love in regard to what goes in their bodies, but I am not?