3. I realized that being thin would change NOTHING.
You read that correctly. Being thin does not change a thing. Like most people, I had built up 'thin' in my mind into this future magical place where I had no problems, everyone approved of everything I did, I was smart, successful, sexy, funny, fabulous, never insecure, and on and on and on.
This isn’t true. When thin happens, it happens in the present. In the present I am still me. I don’t have a perfect or charmed life. I still struggle, get upset, people are still mean to me…all the triggers for abusing food and hating myself are STILL present in my daily life.
Knowing that I’m thin and my life isn’t perfect and recognizing that this doesn’t mean that additional weight loss is required to achieve happiness was a HUGE revelation for me. Happiness and pant size are not related.
Don’t get me wrong. Just like with the joy that is delicious food, there is the joy that is being able to wear the clothes I want, fitting into a certain size, getting into those pants that I haven’t worn in years, and so on. But just like that frappuccino, bag of Doritos or piece of birthday cake, the joy of being thin is fleeting. It’s not enough to make me happy day in and day out hence I do not rely on being thin as my sole source of happiness or self worth.
Bottom line, if I didn’t love myself fat, I wouldn’t love myself thin (and neither will you).
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment