Friday, September 21, 2007

Here we go again...

I am such a statistic.

It's embarrassing, actually.

Since November, 2003 I have gained and lost over 250lbs. This time is going to be different.

A brief history:

1990 - I begin my first diet at the age of 12. It starts our innocently enough.The doctor expresses his concern to my mother as I'm about 20lbs or so overweight for a girl of my age/height. No big deal. Mom will show me how to modify my portions and make healthier food choices. So far, so good...right?

I'm young and active. The weight starts to fall off and the compliments pour in from relatives, teachers, fellow students, dance instructors, you name it. The attention is intoxicating as I've never received attention like this before. The more weight I lose, the more attention I get. You know where this is going...

I develop and eating disorder. I get too thin and the compliments become expressions of concern (from all but my dance instructors). This attention, although negative, fueled the beginnings of what would become a life-long battle with anorexia.

I'm now 29 years old, a wife, mom to 2 beautiful babies, and looking at some very real health issues. Heart problems run in my family and if I keep this up I will not reach the age of 60 (as so many of my relatives before me have not). To consistently gain and loose as much weight as I've been is going to kill me. I choose life :)

This time, I'm taking it slow. This time, I'm shooting for healthy, not skinny. This time, I'm changing for life.

I wanted to document my struggles. Mostly because I have a tendency to become obsessive when I diet. I'm hoping that having this outlet will nip my obsession in the bud. My thoughts will be out of my head and on this blog.

Wish me luck.

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