Monday, May 5, 2008

I'm the fattest 30 year old in WNY

Ugh. I really hate being fat. Why won't I do anything about it? Why won't I get this shit under control?

I was doing well on Weight Watchers for a few weeks. Once things got stressful around here my diet went out the window. Life is ALWAYS going to be stressful. I have to get over it. I want to start again tomorrow (cliche), but in the meantime...

I have fucking auditions tonight. I hate going out in public in general due to my unsightly appearance. I hate fat auditions as much as I would hate having to walk around the mall fat and naked.

I haven't seen any of these people since forever and I'm still fat. I've had 7 months to get some of this weight off . It kills me that I could have easily lost 28lbs in the 7 months that have passed. That would mean I could weigh 168. Not that 168 is thin, but when you're well over 200lbs, 168 is SUPER thin.

I hate that I think 168 is super thin. I hate myself.

Ugh. I hate that I hate myself.

I hate auditions.

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