Feeling fat AND stinker

So I'm the fattest girl in WNY.

My diet and exercise resolve are slipping/non-existent. I'm just super discouraged.

What's contributing to this discouragement? Well:

1 - After 2 months of commitment, I fit into a size 14. How is that supposed to be motivating? Fat people wear size 14's.

2 - I'm really sick of my diet food. I can't look at cottage cheese, yogurt, veggie burgers, chicken sausage, oatmeal-mixed-with-protein-powder (yeah, it's as good as it sounds), etc. Right now I'm super attracted to salads and sushi so I guess I should just go with that.

3 - I have no motivation to workout. When I do workout, I never "get into it" so getting myself through a workout is like pulling my own teeth. Think about a project you're putting off because you have no desire to start it, and then multiply that by 1,000 and then you'll understand my lack of desire to workout.

4 - I just hate everything about my physical appearance. My body is so ugly, my hair is so ugly, my face is so fat, I hate the clothes I fit into, I never feel like I look cute, ugh. It's bad.

I feel like "it's a lost cause, so what's the point?"

Yeah. I should be a motivational speaker.